The Legendary Rogue

Here's an excerpt from my western comedy melodrama, LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS.

The story: 

Brian Ryan, the mild-mannered sheriff of Parched Throat, Arizona is summoned to rescue the Clayfoot Indian tribe from the clutches of Randolph Hitlear, an ex-Confederate general out to steal their gold in order to finance another Civil War. When he finds himself outnumbered by Hitlear's gang and a duplicitous Indian agent called Percival P. Pestt, Sheriff Ryan adopts the guise of the mysterious masked avenger known as ...The Rogue. 

The scene that follows features the first appearance of the masked hero himself.

RANDOLPH HITLEAR and PERCIVAL P. PESTT are engaged in heated conversation on the outskirts of the Clayfoot reservation

PESTT: Yes, Mr. Hitlear, the Sheriff is still alive. That saloon chanteuse found him in the desert  and I assume she brought him back to town. I tried to stop her but I had an unfortunate close encounter with a cactus.

HITLEAR: Well, that just takes the mint right out of my julep. How could you allow a member of the weaker sex get the better of you? What kind of man are you?

PESTT: Well, I’ve been sick…

HITLEAR: And you are about to have a relapse if you don’t settle this matter for me. Ashley! Rhett!

ASHLEY/RHETT: (entering together) Yessir!

From the Palace Showboat Theatre production

HITLEAR: One of you hand Mr. Pestt here a firearm.

(ASHLEY hands PESTT a pistol.)

ASHLEY: Here ya go, Percy. That thar’s the Sheriff’s gun.

HITLEAR: Ride back into town and put a bullet in Sheriff Ryan’s heart with his very own weapon. It’s rather poetic, don’t you think?

PESTT: It doesn’t even rhyme. I’m no hired gun. Besides I have to take an early stage back to Washington.

HITLEAR: (hands PESTT a wad of bills) Considered yourself hired.

PESTT: Well, I suppose the P in Percival P. Pestt now stands for Pistolero! 

HITLEAR: Every man has a price. Some just happen to be bargains. Just watch where you’re waving that firearm around, Wyatt Earp. Return when the job is complete. The boys and I have a date with a mountain of gold. 

(All three exit as PESTT counts his money.)

PESTT: With all this cabbage, I could make cole slaw.

ROGUE: (off-stage voice over) Count your blood money slowly, Indian agent.

PESTT: (startled) Oh my land! What was that? 

ROGUE: Percival P. Pestt!

PESTT: Who…who…who’s there?

ROGUE: It’s not Western Union!

PESTT: What do you want with me?

Inspiration for THE ROGUE. Duh.

(THE ROGUE appears from the opposite direction PESTT is speaking toward. He is masked and is dressed all in black with gold trim.)

ROGUE: Justice!

PESTT: Oh my stars and garters! Who in the blue blazes are you?

ROGUE: I am The Rogue. 

PESTT: P....p…pleased to meet you. My name is…oh, you know that already. (pulls gun) Aha! I have you now! D…d...don’t move or I’ll sh…sh…sh…

ROGUE: Shoot?

PESTT: Yes!

ROGUE: I was hoping that’s what you meant.

PESTT: I mean it! I’ll fill you full of l...l...lead! (THE ROGUE spins his finger about as the pistol turns in PESTT’s hand with the barrel facing toward him now) What was I saying?

ROGUE: Don’t move or you’ll shoot.

PESTT: It’s just a figure of speech!

ROGUE: Hand that pistol to me before you hurt someone.

PESTT: Like me! (hands pistol to ROGUE) How...how may I help you, Mr…?

ROGUE: As I said, I am The Rogue and I demand answers. Where is the man known as Randolph Hitlear?

PESTT: I think he’s on vacation. That’s it. He went to the seashore.

ROGUE: I demand the truth!

PESTT: Don’t hurt me! I’m allergic to pain! I’ll tell you! He’s in the mountain up ahead. He said he was breaking through to the Tomb of Gold tonight.

ROGUE: That is more like it. What I want you to do now is to walk all the way back into town  and lock yourself in a jail cell for all your deceitful crimes of lies and bribery. You will stay until you are told otherwise. Do you understand?

PESTT: Loud and clear!

ROGUE: Double-cross me and you will suffer the wrath of The Rogue! I’m off! (exits) Ride the wind, Avenger! (horse whinnies and gallops off)

PESTT: Gone? Good! I’m getting the hey out of here. (turns to run off in opposite direction)

ROGUE: (reappearing before him) Going someplace?

PESTT: (jumping) Arghh! Just taking a short cut…Oh my kidneys…(exits opposite as ROGUE disappears)

LEGEND OF THE ROGUE by Scott Cherney is filled with laughs, romance and more fun than a barrel full of lizards on a tequila bender. Performance rights are available. For more information and to obtain a digital copy of script contact: OFF THE WALL PLAYS

Blow the Man Down!

Time for another sneak preview!

Act One, Scene One from the tropical adventure melodrama ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS or THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG written by the one and only (with any luck) Scott Cherney now available at OFF THE WALL PLAY

(A ship’s bell rings three times as lights come up on SVEN BJORN BJORG GUNTHER, a salty salt with a Swedish flair, at the wheel on the bridge of the good ship Oh You Squid, The ship’s telegraph (engine controls) sits to the right of the wheel with the bell to the left. SVEN sings “Blow the Man Down” in broken Nordic-sounding gibberish. He is joined by CAPT. JEFF COOPER, the handsome, stalwart skipper who joins SVEN in song, harmonizing the chorus in English.)

JEFF: Ahoy, matey!

SVEN: Ahoy to you too, Captain Cooper!  

JEFF:  You know, Sven, out here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, I think we can drop the formalities. You can call me Jeff.

SVEN:  Okey dokey!  Yeff it is den.

JEFF: That’s Captain Yeff.

SVEN: How’s ‘bout I yust call ya Skipper?

JEFF: That would be both fine and dandy.  How’s the sea this fine morning?

SVEN: It is as calm as a fjord in February.

JEFF: Is that pretty calm?

SVEN: Yah, sure, dat’s purty calm.

JEFF: (taking a deep breath) Ah! Feel that clean ocean air in your lungs!

SVEN: (does the same, only begins choking) I tink I done svallowed a mosquito!

JEFF: Are you okay there, swabbie?

SVEN: Yah, sure.  Nuttin’ like a bug for breakfast.

JEFF: The crew seems to be awful quiet today, don’t you think?

SVEN: It’s hard to say, Skipper.

JEFF: Oh? And why is that?

SVEN: Cuz dey ain’t on board no more.

JEFF: Pardon my French, but where in the gosh darn heck are they?

SVEN: Dey done took da lifeboat and vent back to Honolulu. 

JEFF: They abandoned ship? My ship?  But why would any sailor worth his salt ever abandon a fine vessel like the good ship Oh You Squid?

SVEN: Da crew said dey yust couldn’t take da smell of dat cargo ve are carrying not vone more day. No vay, Jose. In fact, I tink it vas Jose who said dat.

JEFF: Are you talking about the cargo of salted sea slugs?



SVEN: You betcher boots I mean dem stinky slimy sea slugs. Ven da cargo hold gets hot, even da flies are complainin’. It smells like veek old buttermilk vit a tuna chaser.

JEFF: I’ll have you know that salted sea slugs are considered a delicacy around the world.

SVEN: Dem tings are gross, I tell ya…und I eat lutefisk.  

JEFF: You’re exaggerating.

SVENl:  Is dat so? Has ya ever had vone yerself, Skipper?

JEFF: Why, as a matter of fact, I find them pretty doggone tasty.

SVEN:  Yer yokin’ wit me.

JEFF:  No siree.  I had some salted sea slugs for breakfast this very morning. Mixed ‘em right in with my Corn Flakes.

 SVEN: (aside) Don’t dat sound yummy fer yer tummy?

JEFF:  There’s another can in the galley  Would you like to try one?

SVEN: No tanks. I yust had a mosquito.

JEFF:  Well, that’s more for me. Gosh, it’s a darn shame about the crew. They sure were a swell bunch of fellows.

SVEN: Dey also done robbed you  blind.

JEFF: What? (checks pockets) My wallet! My watch! Why, those thieving pirates!

SVEN: Sorry, Skipper. Dey done took all my stuff  too. 

JEFF: Well, confound it anyway, let’s not let it get under our skin.  Besides, that cargo of ours will fetch us a pretty penny once we reach port. Until then, it looks like it’s you and me on the open sea. 

SVEN: An’ I’m proud as punch ta be here wit ya.

(The two seamen are interrupted by the off-stage sound of a dolphin.)

JEFF: What was that? 

SVEN: Oh, looky dere! It’s Louie!  (waves) ‘Mornin’, Louie!

JEFF: Louie? Who’s Louie?

SVEN: He’s my friend. See him over dere?

JEFF: Why, that’s a dolphin.  

SVEN: Yah, he’s my buddy! Louie’s been followin’ us since Havaii. He’s real smart, too, ain’t ya, Louie? (LOUIE replies) 

JEFF: You speak dolphin?

SVEN: Don’t you? 

JEFF: I know a little Italian.

SVEN: Oh? Vat’s his name?  (LOUIE speaks again) Oh, sorry, Louie. Vat’s dat you say? (LOUIE speaks again) Somethin’ in da vater dead ahead?

JEFF: Dead ahead, he says… I’m going to take the word of a talking fish. (LOUIE replies)

SVEN: Louie says he’s a mammal, not a fish.

JEFF: My mistake. (pulls out telescope, extends it and gazes ahead) Ahoy! What’s that off the starboard bow? 

SVEN:  (looking through telescope) Yumpin’ yiminy! Dat’s da biggest pineapple I ever done seen!

JEFF: Pineapple, my Aunt Petunia! That’s an enemy mine! It must left over from the war! If we hit it, we could be blown to kingdom come! (scans about) There’s more of them! These waters are totally infested with deadly explosives! (rings bell) All hands on deck! All hands on deck!

SVEN: Hold on, Skipper, dere ain’t no hands no more, on deck or anyvere else. All ve got is two fingers-you ‘n me! 

JEFF: Cut the engines!  

SVEN:  Aye aye! (shifts the controls of the telegraph) Engines cut, Skipper.

JEFF: Well, this is a fine pickle! (looks through telescope again, scanning horizon) Hold the phone, Buster Brown. Are my eyes deceiving me or is that an island over there? It is! We’ve got to try to steer through this obstacle course without blowing ourselves up in the process.

SVEN: Dat’s a good plan, but how? (LOUIE answers)  Vat’s dat, Louie? He says he can help us.

JEFF: What can he do? He’s just a fish. (LOUIE objects)

SVEN: Mammal.  (LOUIE continues) Louie says he can guide us through da mines. All ve have to do is follow.

JEFF: It’s crazy, but, what choice do we have? With any luck, we can make it to shore in one piece. Sven, re-start the engines. 

SVEN: Aye, aye, Skipper! (shifts telegraph controls)

JEFF: Louie, lead the way! Sven, all ahead full and follow that fish! (LOUIE corrects him again) Correction! Follow that mammal!

SVEN:  Hang on Louie! Ve’re right behind you!

BLACKOUT

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS is jam-packed with laughs, action and rousing optional musical numbers. Cast size is 5 men and 3 women.
The show has been performed to great success by both professional and amateur groups across the country and back again.


For more information including performance rights, how to purchase a full digital script or read a longer excerpt please visit OFF THE WALL PLAYS.

A Lil' Bit of La Rue

For your edification, here is an excerpt from LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU? a melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself that has played in various theaters across the US of A

LA RUE'S RETURN tells the tale of a rotten to the core French criminal who returns to New Oreleans' French Quarter to exact revenge against a sweet Southern belle who sent his sorry self to prison. Standing in the villain's path are a brave, yet rather dim-witted US Cavalry officer, the loyal friends of the belle and a wacked witch from the swamp.

In this scene, Ike the bartender, Mimi the maid and Lazlo the layabout prepare for Jacques La Rue's imminent return to the Chez What bistro. When he does, he impersonates the bartender in order to fool Lt. Alan Wexstad which isn't hard to do.



Original cast of LA RUE'S RETURN-Palace Showboat Theater at Pollardville


MIMI: You don’t think he would come back, do you?
IKE: He might.
MIMI: No!
IKE/LAZLO: Yes!
IKE: Just to be on the safe side, we’d better lock up everything of value. He’ll take every red cent. (To LAZLO) Speakin’ of scents, why don’t you take bath?
LAZLO: What-and spoil my earthy charm?
IKE: (Grabbing cash register) C’mon, Mimi.
MIMI: Oui, oui.
IKE: Yeah, you can do that on the way.
IKE and MIMI EXIT through kitchen door.
LAZLO: Now for some serious drinking! (Grabs bottle from behind bar and raises it to his lips as IKE ENTERS, grabs bottle, and re-EXITS) Rats! (Grabs spittoon) Nah!
LAZLO then grabs the bar rag, wrings it out in a glass, and prepares to drink it. JACQUES LA RUE peers over the saloon doors and watches LAZLO.
LA RUE: Hey! (LAZLO spills drink) Hey! Free whisky at the stable!
LAZLO: Free whisky? Where’d I hide my bucket? (EXITS out saloon doors)
LA RUE: (ENTERS) Works every time. Oh, Jacques La Rue, you are such a nasty guy. (Sings to the tune of “I Got Rhythm”)
“I’m so nasty’
I’m so nasty
I’m so nasty
Who could ask for anysing more?” (Laughs)
What a showstopper! Well, Lafayette, I am here! (Looks about) How lovely it is to be back in this dump... (Looks out window) …That still overlooks the dump. It is to gag. (Gags and pours himself a drink at bar) I see that Polly still has our favorite, Chartrise ’72. Come to papa. (Drinks) Vinegar! I have just drunk the vinegar! Patooie! Not bad… (Spots portrait of COL. MORTIMER) So, I see Polly still has you on the wall, you bumbling old fool. Maybe if you had been here before, I would not have been able to nearly take your daughter for all that she had. Some day Colonel Mortimer, you and I shall meet on the field of battle and you will see what Jacques La Rue is made out of. Someday, Colonel, someday, but you are not important right now because I have returned to settle my old score with that stool pigeon, Ack! (LA RUE’s pronunciation of IKE, rhymes with back) And I shall take my revenge, served up etouffe’, ce vous plait! (Drinks another glass of bad wine, then looks for some place to spit it out behind bar)

Proud playwright Edward Thorpe in Oceano, CA

LT. ALAN WEXSTAD opens saloon door with right hand.
ALAN: Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes, freeing door to swing back and knock him back)
LA RUE: (Aside) Ack can wait. This may be good.
ALAN: (Re-enters, sidestepping door quickly) Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes again)
LA RUE: I am sorry. The cub scouts are not meeting here tonight.
ALAN: Is this not the establishment of Polly Montclair, daughter of the late Colonel Montclair?
LA RUE: (Aside) The late colonel, Hmmm… (To ALAN) The late colonel’s daughter is not here at the present time
ALAN: Oh, gosh darn it all to heck. Oh, pardon my French.
LA RUE: That was French?
ALAN: Forgive me. You see, I have travelled a very long way. And you are…?
LA RUE: Ah, Miss Polly has left me in charge. My name is…Ack.
ALAN: (Confused) Ack?
LA RUE: Not Ack. A-a-a-ck.
ALAN: A-a-ack?
LA RUE: (Impatiently) Ack! Ack! Ack!
ALAN: That’s a nasty cough you have there.
LA RUE: No, no. You misunderstand me. My name is… (Points to eye) …ck!
ALAN: Oh! Ike! My name is Lieutenant Alan Wexstad of the United States Cavalry, at your service! (Comes to attention and salutes)
LA RUE: At ease. Tell me, what business do you have with the mademoiselle?
ALAN: It concerns… (Peers about to see if anyone is listening then whispers) …money.
LA RUE: (Loudly) Money!
ALAN: Yes. I carry with me the entire estate of the late Colonel Montclair. (Taps pouch on his side, attached to his belt)
LA RUE: It grieves me to hear that the colonel has passed on. Tell me, how did he meet with his demise?
ALAN: It’s rather an unusual story, I’m afraid. Colonel Montclair was sent as a sole emissary of the United States Government to a remote outpost in the Indian nations. He befriended a peaceful tribe and ingratiated himself into their society. So, he became an honorary member of the tribe. In order to be as one with the Indians who adopted him, he tried to become one with nature. In doing so, Colonel Montclair tried to dance with the wolves.
LA RUE: What happened?
ALAN: The wolves discovered he had no rhythm, so they ate him like so much dog food. There wasn’t anything left of him except for some badly chewed medals and this rather sticky picture frame. (Produces small picture frame)
LA RUE: It is a picture of Miss Polly.
ALAN: Yes. Her father carried with him until the very end. I have been ordered to take this, along with the colonel’s financial holdings, to Miss Polly…I mean, Miss Montclair.
LA RUE: Oui, now about the money…? 

Elaine Slatore as Polly Montclair

ALAN: (Gazing at picture) Just look at that face. Ever since I was sent on this mission, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of her. I have found myself hypnotized, transfixed, transmogrified, if you will. She has the face of an angel, don’t you think?
LA RUE: Oui. All she needs is the harp. Now about the money…
ALAN: Travelling over hill and down dale, all I could do was look at her and daydream… wonder what her voice would sound like. Would it be like a heavenly choir from on high or more like the tinkle of fine champagne in a crystal goblet?

LA RUE: (Aside) Time for the tinkle if this goes on any longer. (To ALAN) Now, about the mon…
ALAN: Gazing upon the beauteous countenance of Miss Montclair…Polly…made me burst out into song. I sang the entire journey to New Orleans. Would you like to hear?
LA RUE: Non!
ALAN: All right, I will. (Sings “Polly Wolly Doodle”)
LA RUE: A charming little ditty, Lieutenant. (Aside) I am going to heave!
ALAN: Of course, you will have the decency to keep this between the two of us.
LA RUE: Decency is my middle name.
ALAN: Really? How odd.
LA RUE: Now, for the last time, you mentioned…money?
ALAN: Yes. The late colonel left a large sum of money in the care of my commanding officer, General Horatio Barnswallow, who in turn charged me with the duty and responsibility to deliver this sum, in total, to Miss Polly…er, Miss Montclair, a sum equal to twenty two thousand dollars.
LA RUE: That is some sum!
ALAN: Not only that, but there is also a deed to one thousand acres of land in Fresno, California. (NOTE: “Fresno, California” can be changed to any maligned city in or near the area of performance)
LA RUE: Fresno? (Aside) She is better off with the money. (To ALAN) Do not worry, young man. All of that will be safe with me.
ALAN: I cannot, sir!
LA RUE: But why not? Do I not have an honest face?
ALAN: I do not doubt your honesty, sir. It is just my duty as an officer in the United States Cavalry to safeguard any trust put in me, to always strive for truth…justice…and the American way!
LA RUE: Don’t get carried away, Superboy!
ALAN: Sorry. Nonetheless, this case carrying Miss Montclair’s inheritance shall not leave my side until I can deliver it to her personally. When will she return?
LA RUE: Oh, not for a very long time. Lieutenant, I implore you, trust me.
ALAN: But I cannot. I must not. I shall not. I won’t! Now I must take my leave and seek appropriate lodging for the night. Please inform Miss Montclair of my visit. Good day, Ack. (EXITS)
LA RUE: That’s Ack! Impudent clod! So, twenty two thousand dollars, eh? And a thousand acres of land in Fresno. Well, I can always sell it. I must think… must plan…must devise a scheme…must speak in full sentences. I must have that money! It will be mine, all mine! Oh, Jacques, what a greedy guy you are. (EXITS laughing)

​Copyright 2004 by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney


Performance rights for LA RUE'S RETURN are $40 per performance with all script fees waived to allow theaters to copy as many as they require from a PDF after a written contract

To receive a FREE PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Scott Cherney at: writtenbysc@gmail.com


Hard copies of LA RUE'S RETURN are also available at https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/scottcherney

La Rue-Here, There and Everywhere

Here are but a few of the fine theater companies over the years  that have produced LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, the Cajun-spiced comedy melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself.

Let's start here with the most recent production.

Graham Regional Theatre in Graham, Texas

A charity DVD produced by Actors Studio in Baker City, OR

Reader's Theater presentation presented by Mt. Vernon Community Theatre in Mt. Vernon, MO

Co-author, best friend and proud papa Ed Thorpe outside The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, CA

And where it all started, many moons before this second production at the late, lamented Palace Showboat Dinner Theatre at Pollardville in Stockton, CA. (Please ignore the crappy Pepto Bismol colored program.)

For more info about this show, please read the previous blog post; 

LA RUE'S RETURN

or contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com

Roxanne of the Islands

 

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, kids of all ages...

It is with a great deal of pride and pleasure that introduce to the world, the latest love of my life.
Her name...

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS

Roxanne is the lead character in what I am calling a tropical adventure comedy melodrama, a mouthful to be sure while the full title of which is:

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS
or
THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG

This piece of pure Cherney-ana has been published by Off the Wall Plays, the first of all my works not published by yours truly, a major moment in the life of me.

The story of this epic revolves around the brave and beautiful Roxanne on her home of Ooaheek Island in the South Pacific after World War II. Not only must she contend with a lovesick witch doctor named Zhivago and a 1000 year old goddess with daddy issues who's after her ship-wrecked sea captain boyfriend but also a volcano that just won't give a poor girl a break.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

ROXANNE-the brave, beautiful heroine of Ooaheek Island

CAPT. JEFF COOPER-the young man of the sea and skipper of the good ship Oh You Squid

WITCH DOCTOR ZHIVAGO-an evil little weasel on two legs

BARBARINA-the voluptuously seductive high priestess with a mean streak a mile long

SVEN BJORN BJORG GUNTHER-Jeff’s Swedish first mate

FRED-Roxanne’s none-too-bright but oh-so-big-hearted sister

UNCLE ALPO-Roxanne’s lazy, good-for-something uncle

YOYO-Zhivago’s henchman…uh, native

TIME: Late 1940s, post-World War II

SETTING: In and around Ooaheek Island in the South Pacific 

ROXANNE is based on a sub-genre of films from the late thirties-early forties set in far off islands in the South Seas, the more exotic, the better and accuracy be damned. Titles ranged from John Ford's THE HURRICANE to what became the norm, B-programmers like ALOMA OF THE SOUTH SEAS.

Both of these movies had another thing in common besides their theme and locale. They starred the enchanting and drop dead gorgeous Dorothy Lamour. Known mostly today as the foil of Hope and Crosby ROAD pictures, Lamour had quite a career prior to meeting the boys beginning as a big band singer in the 1930s. After moving to Hollywood, it wasn't long before she donned her first sarong in THE JUNGLE PRINCESS, which was such a hit for Paramount at the time, it type-cast from there on in. Dotty was major pin-up girl during WWII and sold so many war bonds she was nicknamed The Bombshell of Bombs. I wanted to write a melodrama with a strong heroine, deviating from the damsel in distress normally seen in this type of show and one not dependent on being rescued by the handsome hero. Dorothy Lamour fit the bill for me.

I drew a lot of inspiration, as I always do with my melos, from the cartoons of Jay Ward Productions, most famously the creators of Rocky and Bullwinkle, among others along with my own personal fave, GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE. Much of my humor stems from this deep well of brilliant absurdity. My penchant for titles and sub-titles is straight out of a Rocky and Bullwinkle cliffhanger, many times my favorite part of an episode. ROXANNE itself is chock full o' references from the villain's name (Witch Doctor Zhivago) to Roxanne's sister, Fred  ("Papa wanted a boy." "Close, but no cigar.") and the setting, Ooaheek Island, which is the sound a bird makes when it flies to close to the volcano.

What really fueled my muse was when I decided to add a couple of musical numbers including a swing dance number to open ACT II. I couldn't think of a better tune in the world than Benny Goodman's Big Band classic interpretation of Louis Prima's "Sing Sing Sing" with the incomparable Gene Krupa on the drums. I listened to this constantly and found that it really drove the project home.

So there you have it, kitty cats. That's the origin of ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS. Take a bow, sister. May the world fall in love with you as much as I have.

To read an elongated excerpt or to buy a copy (hint! hint!) go to OFF THE WALL PLAYS . Performance rights are available from Off the Wall. Tell 'em Fred sent you.

All In

Below you will find all of the interactive murder mystery and melodrama scripts we have available for both professional and amateur theater productions including community groups, dinner shows, fundraising events, high school and college drama departments. 

MURDER MYSTERIES

DEAD TUESDAY by Scott Cherney

MELODRAMAS

LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney

SONG OF THE CANYON KID or POEM ON THE RANGE by Scott Cherney

Performance rights for all titles are available. Royalty is $40 per performance. For more information and a FREE perusal script, contact: 

Scott Cherney 

writtenbysc@gmail.com

And please check out these three plays by Scott Cherney available through Off the Wall Plays

MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER-The intergalactic interactive murder mystery

LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS-A western comedy melodrama 

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS or THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG-The tropical adventure comedy 

CLICK HERE FOR OFF THE WALL PLAYS

Song of the Canyon Kid or Poem on the Range

This here's a song of the lone prairie

It's a tale of woe and of misery

It's a tale of right and a tale of wrong

All about the weak and the very strong

(sung to the tune of BURY ME NOT ON THE LONE PRAIRIE)

So begins SONG OF THE CANYON KID or POEM ON THE RANGE, a western comedy melodrama originally written by Scott Cherney and first produced on the stage of the Palace Showboat Dinner Theater at Pollardville.

When the straight shooting, and guitar strumming singing cowboy hero known as The Canyon Kid, returns to Dirt Clod, Missouri, he finds his hometown in the grips of a tyrannical albino “hanging judge” named Basil Kadaver and his evil co-horts, including the slinky gypsy seductress Nastassia Kinky and her half-wit brother, Two Gun Boris. To make matters worse for The Kid, he also discovers that his childhood sweetheart, Darla Darling, is engaged to Dalton Doolin, a known desperado who is now the town sheriff. The action culminates in a knockdown, drag out slugfest on the streets of Dirt Clod when justice at last triumphs and The Canyon Kid saves the day.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

 

THE CANYON KID…………….the straight shooting, guitar strumming, two fisted cowboy hero 

DARLA DARLING……………..the schoolmarm childhood sweetheart of The Canyon Kid 

JUDGE BASIL KADAVER…….the villainous albino known as “The Hanging Judge” 

SHERIFF DALTON DOOLIN….the supposedly reformed outlaw who now wears a badge 

CHARLENE ATLAS…………...the town’s female blacksmith who is no smarter than the anvil she pounds 

MAYOR DARLING……………the absent minded elected official and Darla’s father 

NASTASSIA KINKY…………..the slinky gypsy seductress who runs the saloon, The Golden Goulash 

HONEY DARLING…………….the mayor’s wife, Darla’s mother and dingier than a church bell 

TWO GUN BORIS……………...the fastest gun this side of the Ukraine 

Previous productions of SONG OF THE CANYON KID 

PALACE SHOWBOAT DINNER THEATER AT POLLARDVILLE-STOCKTON, CA

GREAT AMERICAN MELODRAMA-OCEANO, CA

FOOTHILL THEATRE CO.-JACKSON, CA

CHEYENNE LITTLE THEATER PLAYERS-CHEYENNE, WY

BRAZOS THEATRE GROUP-WACO, TX

THEATRE SUBURBIA-HOUSTON,TX

MANTORVILLE THEATER-MANTORVILLE,MN

CATS PLAYHOUSE-LUBBOCK,TX

Performance rights for SONG OF THE CANYON KID are available for both professional and amateur theater productions including community groups, dinner shows, fundraising events, high school and college drama departments.  

Royalties are $40 per performance. Script fees are completely waived so theater groups may copy as many as they require from a PDF after a signed contract.

For more info and to receive a FREE perusal script, contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com

CLICK HERE TO READ AN EXCERPT OF SONG OF THE CANYON KID

SONG OF THE CANYON KID has also been adapted into a novel and is available in paperback or Kindle from Amazon

CLICK HERE FOR SONG OF THE CANYON KID ON AMAZON 

La Rue's Return or How's a Bayou?

 Time to switch gears as we head into the wonderful world of melodrama.

Evil always returns...
only this time, it has a bad French accent!

First production of LA RUE'S RETURN at Pollardville

Oh, he's back alright. Jacques La Rue, that is. He's the villain in the very first theatrical venture show written by Edward Thorpe and myself. a little melodrama called LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?.