New to You LaRue

Recently the Heartland Community Theatre of Clinton staged LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, the comic melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself WAY back in the last quarter of the 20th century. Hey, I'm aged, okay, like a big wedge o' cheddar. 

The fine folks at Heartland and fine folks there are indeed, sent me a series of cast and production shots from the show that I post here for your edification.

Left to right-Chris Smith, Garey Flippin, Janet Smith, Chris Crittendon, Zac Maggi, Amanda Garcia and Martin Grisier

Strike the pose! Chris Smith as Lt. Alan Wexstad

It must be Happy Hour somewhere. Garey Flippin as Laslo and Zac Maggi as Ike

Love that smile. Chris Crittendon as Mimi 

Yikes! Now THAT is a Swamp Crone! Janet Smith nails it!

And last but certainly not least, this Heartland production was directed by Linda Freese, who is aces in my book. (Yes, I have a book)

HEARTLAND'S FACEBOOK PAGE

I look forward to working with these good people again. I say that every time, but every time I mean it.

Want to join these good people? Performance rights for LA RUE'S RETURN are available for professional and amateur theater groups. Contact me, Scott Cherney at writtenbysc@gmail.com for information and to request a perusal script absolutely FREE.  

Hey, maybe you too can get in the book.

La Rue Out of the Blue.

As a one-man band, for the most part, marketing my play scripts to theater groups here, there and
everywhere has rewarded me with various productions of my work across the country for the last ten years. This involves soliciting organizations one by one by way an initial query with information about the play or plays in question, sending them a script if I get through the first obstacle and then playing the waiting game when I check my e-mail daily with all appendages crossed pleading "Pleasepleasepleaseplease..." 

Last year, I received a reply from the Heartland Community Theatre of Clinton in Clinton, Missouri, one of the best responses I've ever received. It was a rave review, extremely enthusiastic about whichever script I submitted and, to make it even better, a request to send them anything else of mine. What did you think I would do? I sent two more, both of them also given very positive assessments along with the best comment of all: that heartland would love to produce these shows when they could fit it into their schedule. I was over the moon. A trifecta? What? Widdle ol' me? This all played havoc with my fragile ego and my natural tendency to being emotionally needy and insecure, but it sure perked me up for awhile. Well, time passed and when I didn't hear back from HCT, I figured they did too, so I moved on. I've had enough experience with the process as all writers do, but not enough to cry into my pillow (not very much anyway). 

I try to follow up with whatever organization I submit my scripts, not to the point of harassment. No answer is usually responsible by itself. However, a couple of weeks back, I gave it a shot and contacted Heartland Community Theatre after a year's time to perhaps get an answer one way or the other. A reaction like the one they gave me just couldn't be ignored. I'll be goldurned if they didn't reply within the frickin' hour! Apparently, the show they had scheduled fell through and a replacement was chosen: LARUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, a comic melodrama by Edward Thorpe and this guy right here. To make it even sweeter? They wanted to go into production STAT and on the boards next month. The quickest deal I ever made. Therefore, LARUE'S RETURN will play three performances Oct. 11, 12 and a matinee on the 13th at the Heartland Community Theatre of Clovis. 

The magic continues. This production officially makes LA RUE'S RETURN the most popular title in my catalogue. (Yes, I have a catalogue. Don't be snotty. Check out the link below if you don't believe me) 

My best friend writing partner and brother Edward Thorpe AKA Max would be as proud as I am right now. He's probably smiling down upon me and thinking of a way he can flick my ear with his finger just for laughs.

Thanks, HCT and break a leg!

Performance rights for LA RUE'S RETURN are $40 per performance with all script fees waived to allow theaters to copy as many as they require from a PDF after a written contract. To receive a FREE PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact, me, Scott Cherney at: writtenbysc@gmail.com

You can also read a free excerpt from this or other titles in the aforementioned catalogue of Cherney scripts including a pair of interactive murder mysteries on my website:

WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

Origins

This is my origin story, edited from an introduction of my comedy sketches that is no longer in print, which, after all these years, sums my beginnings in all three acts of my life thus far.

My favorite TV show of all time is The Dick Van Dyke Show. Other than the fact that the show is an acknowledged classic, one of the things that always appealed to me was Rob Petrie’s job as a comedy writer. Now, that seemed to be a perfect profession for me. Not only would I be able to create comedy all day long, but I’d have a lot of laughs in the process. Of course, the icing on Rob’s cake was that he was able to go home every night to the young Mary Tyler Moore. Woof!

I was able to live part of that dream during my time at a magical land called Pollardville, the kingdom that fried chicken built. Located just outside Stockton, California on Highway 99, Pollardville began as the Chicken Kitchen, a take-out restaurant specializing in deep fried poultry. Years later, the Pollards acquired some buildings and sets from the William Wyler film The Big Country starring Gregory Peck, which had been filmed in the area. They schlepped these down the road virtually intact and stuck them behind the Chicken Kitchen to create the Pollardville Ghost Town, a roadside attraction complete with western stunt shows and train ride. Another building they purchased later was part of an old warehouse from a nearby cannery, which they converted into the Pollardville Palace, a dinner theater that served chicken (naturally) for audiences to munch on while watching stage shows consisting of old time melodramas and vaudeville. A few years down the road, the outside of the building had an entire makeover when it was remodeled into a riverboat facade to became the Palace Showboat Dinner Theater.

Cast of original production of LA RUE'S RETURN

My own saga began in my teenage years out in the Ghost Town. I was a full-fledged weekend cowboy, robbing the not-quite-full-scale train and performing in the aforementioned western stunt shows and gunfights on Main Street. It was a great comedic training ground for I was able to create and perform several different characters, test the improvisational waters and even write my own material.

After many seasons, I finally hung up my spurs and graduated to the college course known as Palace Showboat 101, which I attacked with a vengeance. It was within those hallowed halls that I was able to do everything I ever wanted to do in show business-act, write, direct, stand-up comedy-EVERYTHING! (Well, everything except make a decent living wage, but that’s another story) If Disneyland hadn’t already claimed it, I would have dubbed Pollardville at that influential point in my life “the happiest place on the face of the earth”.

Now the Pollardville show formula was quite simple. First up was the melodrama, a modernized version of the archaic theater form. These were your basic audience participatory CHEER the Handsome Hero, BOO the Dastardly Villain and AWWWW with pathos with the Helpless Heroine scenarios. Following intermission was the olio or vaudeville section, basically a mini-revue with song and dance numbers and lotsa comedy.

Many of the sketches and blackouts (quick gags) in the Palace Showboat productions were rehashes of classic old bits from vaudeville and burlesque shows from what seemed to be from the Dawn of Time. One could never argue their effect on audiences because they ate ‘em up with a spoon. But, being young, impetuous and thinking that I knew it all, I had to try to come up with new material to call my own. After all, I had co-authored an original melodrama for the Palace Showboat a couple of years before entitled La Rue’s Return or How’s a Bayou? with my best friend, Edward Thorpe. It was pretty well received and good enough to be revived a few years later.

So, I dove in head first, hitting my head on the bottom of the pool a few times, but eventually able to write and direct my own show within a year’s time. In fact, I almost pulled an Orson Welles by writing an original melodrama, The Legend of the Rogue and writing/directing the second half of that production entitled Life is a Cabaret. That would have been quite a feat if I didn’t get in so far over my head that I couldn’t even call for help. Of course, pride had a lot to do with that near debacle. I thought I could do it all. Ah, the arrogance of youth. The show went on despite of me, but it soured me on the experience for a couple of years before I tried it again. I thought I knew it all, though the opposite was actually true. After stuffing myself full of humble pie, I came back with a vengeance, writing and directing three shows in a row, penning a new melodrama Song of the Lone Prairie which turned out to be my biggest hit down the road and finishing up a decade of Palace Showboat productions before I finally moved on.

In March of 2007, Pollardville closed its doors for good. Cowpokes engaged in a final gunfight in the Ghost Town before riding off into the sunset. The Palace Showboat, long since dormant, held one last show on its stage, a grand finale reunion revue featuring Palace Showboat Players from its 25 year history. Needless to say, a good time was had by all, just as we always had at the magical place we called Home. Three years later in April of 2010, Pollardville was torn down. For all intents and purposes, it is now gone forever except for those who keep its memory alive in their hearts and minds including the patron saint of comedy itself, the chicken.

Forever may it cluck.

What I learned from those halcyon days of yore also helped me in my creation of murder mysteries as well since I realized that the melodramas and vaudeville sketches I wrote were as at least second cousins-big, broad characters, goofy names, outlandish plots. There even may be a future murder mystery set in a Pollardville type setting just to complete the circle of life.

My other blog, SCOTT CHERNEY'S ETC., contains several stories from my Pollardville years, gathered together on a page called TALES FROM THE VILLE.

A Lil' Bit of La Rue

For your edification, here is an excerpt from LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU? a melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself that has played in various theaters across the US of A

LA RUE'S RETURN tells the tale of a rotten to the core French criminal who returns to New Oreleans' French Quarter to exact revenge against a sweet Southern belle who sent his sorry self to prison. Standing in the villain's path are a brave, yet rather dim-witted US Cavalry officer, the loyal friends of the belle and a wacked witch from the swamp.

In this scene, Ike the bartender, Mimi the maid and Lazlo the layabout prepare for Jacques La Rue's imminent return to the Chez What bistro. When he does, he impersonates the bartender in order to fool Lt. Alan Wexstad which isn't hard to do.



Original cast of LA RUE'S RETURN-Palace Showboat Theater at Pollardville


MIMI: You don’t think he would come back, do you?
IKE: He might.
MIMI: No!
IKE/LAZLO: Yes!
IKE: Just to be on the safe side, we’d better lock up everything of value. He’ll take every red cent. (To LAZLO) Speakin’ of scents, why don’t you take bath?
LAZLO: What-and spoil my earthy charm?
IKE: (Grabbing cash register) C’mon, Mimi.
MIMI: Oui, oui.
IKE: Yeah, you can do that on the way.
IKE and MIMI EXIT through kitchen door.
LAZLO: Now for some serious drinking! (Grabs bottle from behind bar and raises it to his lips as IKE ENTERS, grabs bottle, and re-EXITS) Rats! (Grabs spittoon) Nah!
LAZLO then grabs the bar rag, wrings it out in a glass, and prepares to drink it. JACQUES LA RUE peers over the saloon doors and watches LAZLO.
LA RUE: Hey! (LAZLO spills drink) Hey! Free whisky at the stable!
LAZLO: Free whisky? Where’d I hide my bucket? (EXITS out saloon doors)
LA RUE: (ENTERS) Works every time. Oh, Jacques La Rue, you are such a nasty guy. (Sings to the tune of “I Got Rhythm”)
“I’m so nasty’
I’m so nasty
I’m so nasty
Who could ask for anysing more?” (Laughs)
What a showstopper! Well, Lafayette, I am here! (Looks about) How lovely it is to be back in this dump... (Looks out window) …That still overlooks the dump. It is to gag. (Gags and pours himself a drink at bar) I see that Polly still has our favorite, Chartrise ’72. Come to papa. (Drinks) Vinegar! I have just drunk the vinegar! Patooie! Not bad… (Spots portrait of COL. MORTIMER) So, I see Polly still has you on the wall, you bumbling old fool. Maybe if you had been here before, I would not have been able to nearly take your daughter for all that she had. Some day Colonel Mortimer, you and I shall meet on the field of battle and you will see what Jacques La Rue is made out of. Someday, Colonel, someday, but you are not important right now because I have returned to settle my old score with that stool pigeon, Ack! (LA RUE’s pronunciation of IKE, rhymes with back) And I shall take my revenge, served up etouffe’, ce vous plait! (Drinks another glass of bad wine, then looks for some place to spit it out behind bar)

Proud playwright Edward Thorpe in Oceano, CA

LT. ALAN WEXSTAD opens saloon door with right hand.
ALAN: Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes, freeing door to swing back and knock him back)
LA RUE: (Aside) Ack can wait. This may be good.
ALAN: (Re-enters, sidestepping door quickly) Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes again)
LA RUE: I am sorry. The cub scouts are not meeting here tonight.
ALAN: Is this not the establishment of Polly Montclair, daughter of the late Colonel Montclair?
LA RUE: (Aside) The late colonel, Hmmm… (To ALAN) The late colonel’s daughter is not here at the present time
ALAN: Oh, gosh darn it all to heck. Oh, pardon my French.
LA RUE: That was French?
ALAN: Forgive me. You see, I have travelled a very long way. And you are…?
LA RUE: Ah, Miss Polly has left me in charge. My name is…Ack.
ALAN: (Confused) Ack?
LA RUE: Not Ack. A-a-a-ck.
ALAN: A-a-ack?
LA RUE: (Impatiently) Ack! Ack! Ack!
ALAN: That’s a nasty cough you have there.
LA RUE: No, no. You misunderstand me. My name is… (Points to eye) …ck!
ALAN: Oh! Ike! My name is Lieutenant Alan Wexstad of the United States Cavalry, at your service! (Comes to attention and salutes)
LA RUE: At ease. Tell me, what business do you have with the mademoiselle?
ALAN: It concerns… (Peers about to see if anyone is listening then whispers) …money.
LA RUE: (Loudly) Money!
ALAN: Yes. I carry with me the entire estate of the late Colonel Montclair. (Taps pouch on his side, attached to his belt)
LA RUE: It grieves me to hear that the colonel has passed on. Tell me, how did he meet with his demise?
ALAN: It’s rather an unusual story, I’m afraid. Colonel Montclair was sent as a sole emissary of the United States Government to a remote outpost in the Indian nations. He befriended a peaceful tribe and ingratiated himself into their society. So, he became an honorary member of the tribe. In order to be as one with the Indians who adopted him, he tried to become one with nature. In doing so, Colonel Montclair tried to dance with the wolves.
LA RUE: What happened?
ALAN: The wolves discovered he had no rhythm, so they ate him like so much dog food. There wasn’t anything left of him except for some badly chewed medals and this rather sticky picture frame. (Produces small picture frame)
LA RUE: It is a picture of Miss Polly.
ALAN: Yes. Her father carried with him until the very end. I have been ordered to take this, along with the colonel’s financial holdings, to Miss Polly…I mean, Miss Montclair.
LA RUE: Oui, now about the money…? 

Elaine Slatore as Polly Montclair

ALAN: (Gazing at picture) Just look at that face. Ever since I was sent on this mission, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of her. I have found myself hypnotized, transfixed, transmogrified, if you will. She has the face of an angel, don’t you think?
LA RUE: Oui. All she needs is the harp. Now about the money…
ALAN: Travelling over hill and down dale, all I could do was look at her and daydream… wonder what her voice would sound like. Would it be like a heavenly choir from on high or more like the tinkle of fine champagne in a crystal goblet?

LA RUE: (Aside) Time for the tinkle if this goes on any longer. (To ALAN) Now, about the mon…
ALAN: Gazing upon the beauteous countenance of Miss Montclair…Polly…made me burst out into song. I sang the entire journey to New Orleans. Would you like to hear?
LA RUE: Non!
ALAN: All right, I will. (Sings “Polly Wolly Doodle”)
LA RUE: A charming little ditty, Lieutenant. (Aside) I am going to heave!
ALAN: Of course, you will have the decency to keep this between the two of us.
LA RUE: Decency is my middle name.
ALAN: Really? How odd.
LA RUE: Now, for the last time, you mentioned…money?
ALAN: Yes. The late colonel left a large sum of money in the care of my commanding officer, General Horatio Barnswallow, who in turn charged me with the duty and responsibility to deliver this sum, in total, to Miss Polly…er, Miss Montclair, a sum equal to twenty two thousand dollars.
LA RUE: That is some sum!
ALAN: Not only that, but there is also a deed to one thousand acres of land in Fresno, California. (NOTE: “Fresno, California” can be changed to any maligned city in or near the area of performance)
LA RUE: Fresno? (Aside) She is better off with the money. (To ALAN) Do not worry, young man. All of that will be safe with me.
ALAN: I cannot, sir!
LA RUE: But why not? Do I not have an honest face?
ALAN: I do not doubt your honesty, sir. It is just my duty as an officer in the United States Cavalry to safeguard any trust put in me, to always strive for truth…justice…and the American way!
LA RUE: Don’t get carried away, Superboy!
ALAN: Sorry. Nonetheless, this case carrying Miss Montclair’s inheritance shall not leave my side until I can deliver it to her personally. When will she return?
LA RUE: Oh, not for a very long time. Lieutenant, I implore you, trust me.
ALAN: But I cannot. I must not. I shall not. I won’t! Now I must take my leave and seek appropriate lodging for the night. Please inform Miss Montclair of my visit. Good day, Ack. (EXITS)
LA RUE: That’s Ack! Impudent clod! So, twenty two thousand dollars, eh? And a thousand acres of land in Fresno. Well, I can always sell it. I must think… must plan…must devise a scheme…must speak in full sentences. I must have that money! It will be mine, all mine! Oh, Jacques, what a greedy guy you are. (EXITS laughing)

​Copyright 2004 by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney


Performance rights for LA RUE'S RETURN are $40 per performance with all script fees waived to allow theaters to copy as many as they require from a PDF after a written contract

To receive a FREE PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Scott Cherney at: writtenbysc@gmail.com


Hard copies of LA RUE'S RETURN are also available at https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/scottcherney

A Frog Blog

Way back in the last decade (seems like yesterday, eh?), I started sending out my melodrama scripts once again in hopes of someone, ANYONE, wanting to produce either SONG OF THE CANYON KID or LA RUE'S RETURN on their stage. Sho' nuff, luck smiled down upon me and a couple of theaters took the bait. I felt like I was on a roll and dove headlong into my role as Independent Playwright, a title I gave myself since I couldn't get my work published. Well, fooey to youey, play publishers. I'll do it myself so NYAH! (so bleedin' mature, ain't I?)

One establishment I contacted was actually named Mel O'Drama Theater located in Nashville and son of a gun if I didn't get a bite. Melanie Roady, the owner/operator/namesake of M O'D had particular interest in LA RUE, but after reading it decided it didn't fit her particular format. You see, her group specializes in interactive murder mysteries, something I would have known if I had only read the website instead of taking the name at face value. What do you want from me? If I go to Barney's Beanery, I expect to see beans on the menu, not cupcakes.

However, Mel had a proposition for me. Would I like to try my hand at one of her shows based on her outline? Oh and by the way, the main character is a frog who solves the crime.

"Why sure," I agreed. "Wait a hippity-hoppity second here...a frog? A frog frog? Is this a Muppet murder mystery? Oh, a frog man. Like a scuba diver. Nooo...a man with frog-like characteristics. Okayyyyy...."

Francois is a character created in a series of paintings by artist Jann Harrison who also resides in Nashville. Jann has conceived a whole mythology that go along with each piece she's painted. So Francois is a suave, debonair bon vivant who is, to use her words, "a man in transition".
 http://www.jannharrison.com/

I agreed to pen a script but I was under a very tight deadline and the challenge itself proving rather daunting. Murder mysteries are not my first love and red herrings do not sit well in my tummy tum tum. Then to transform this man-frog, frog-man, lily pad lover to the stage and make him palatable as a main character was just icing on the fish cake.

What prompted me to continue was that the story was set in New Orleans, the same setting for LA RUE.which is what interested the producer in the first place. I'm crazy in love with the culture an lore of  N'Awlins, so I added Mardi Gras to the storyline as well as a touch of voodoo here and some Cajun spice there.

After two and a half weeks of banging my head against the wall trying to figure out the intricacies of who killed who and with what and how , I turned in a script with two possible endings (different killers for different nights). Challenge accepted, challenge met. 

This gig led me to a follow-up the next year with Mel O'Drama, STAR TRUCK: THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON (now retitled MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER) Both shows have been produced by several other theater groups across the country and their subsequent successes I owe totally to Mel Roady, the one and only, a true Theater Angel.

Such is the power of networking. 

And I'm hungry for more

UPDATE: THE PERILS OF FRANCOIS has been re-named DEAD TUESDAY,  thanks to Jerri Wiseman of the StageCoach Theatre Company

DEAD TUESDAY is available at SCOTT CHERNEY'S STORE or to read a free excerpt go to my website WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

Performance rights are available. For info, write to me : writtenbysc@gmail.com

Tell 'em Francois sent ya.

La Rue-Here, There and Everywhere

Here are but a few of the fine theater companies over the years  that have produced LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, the Cajun-spiced comedy melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself.

Let's start here with the most recent production.

Graham Regional Theatre in Graham, Texas

A charity DVD produced by Actors Studio in Baker City, OR

Reader's Theater presentation presented by Mt. Vernon Community Theatre in Mt. Vernon, MO

Co-author, best friend and proud papa Ed Thorpe outside The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, CA

And where it all started, many moons before this second production at the late, lamented Palace Showboat Dinner Theatre at Pollardville in Stockton, CA. (Please ignore the crappy Pepto Bismol colored program.)

For more info about this show, please read the previous blog post; 

LA RUE'S RETURN

or contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com

All In

Below you will find all of the interactive murder mystery and melodrama scripts we have available for both professional and amateur theater productions including community groups, dinner shows, fundraising events, high school and college drama departments. 

MURDER MYSTERIES

DEAD TUESDAY by Scott Cherney

MELODRAMAS

LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney

SONG OF THE CANYON KID or POEM ON THE RANGE by Scott Cherney

Performance rights for all titles are available. Royalty is $40 per performance. For more information and a FREE perusal script, contact: 

Scott Cherney 

writtenbysc@gmail.com

And please check out these three plays by Scott Cherney available through Off the Wall Plays

MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER-The intergalactic interactive murder mystery

LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS-A western comedy melodrama 

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS or THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG-The tropical adventure comedy 

CLICK HERE FOR OFF THE WALL PLAYS

La Rue's Return or How's a Bayou?

 Time to switch gears as we head into the wonderful world of melodrama.

Evil always returns...
only this time, it has a bad French accent!

First production of LA RUE'S RETURN at Pollardville

Oh, he's back alright. Jacques La Rue, that is. He's the villain in the very first theatrical venture show written by Edward Thorpe and myself. a little melodrama called LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?.