The Legendary Rogue

Here's an excerpt from my western comedy melodrama, LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS.

The story: 

Brian Ryan, the mild-mannered sheriff of Parched Throat, Arizona is summoned to rescue the Clayfoot Indian tribe from the clutches of Randolph Hitlear, an ex-Confederate general out to steal their gold in order to finance another Civil War. When he finds himself outnumbered by Hitlear's gang and a duplicitous Indian agent called Percival P. Pestt, Sheriff Ryan adopts the guise of the mysterious masked avenger known as ...The Rogue. 

The scene that follows features the first appearance of the masked hero himself.

RANDOLPH HITLEAR and PERCIVAL P. PESTT are engaged in heated conversation on the outskirts of the Clayfoot reservation

PESTT: Yes, Mr. Hitlear, the Sheriff is still alive. That saloon chanteuse found him in the desert  and I assume she brought him back to town. I tried to stop her but I had an unfortunate close encounter with a cactus.

HITLEAR: Well, that just takes the mint right out of my julep. How could you allow a member of the weaker sex get the better of you? What kind of man are you?

PESTT: Well, I’ve been sick…

HITLEAR: And you are about to have a relapse if you don’t settle this matter for me. Ashley! Rhett!

ASHLEY/RHETT: (entering together) Yessir!

From the Palace Showboat Theatre production

HITLEAR: One of you hand Mr. Pestt here a firearm.

(ASHLEY hands PESTT a pistol.)

ASHLEY: Here ya go, Percy. That thar’s the Sheriff’s gun.

HITLEAR: Ride back into town and put a bullet in Sheriff Ryan’s heart with his very own weapon. It’s rather poetic, don’t you think?

PESTT: It doesn’t even rhyme. I’m no hired gun. Besides I have to take an early stage back to Washington.

HITLEAR: (hands PESTT a wad of bills) Considered yourself hired.

PESTT: Well, I suppose the P in Percival P. Pestt now stands for Pistolero! 

HITLEAR: Every man has a price. Some just happen to be bargains. Just watch where you’re waving that firearm around, Wyatt Earp. Return when the job is complete. The boys and I have a date with a mountain of gold. 

(All three exit as PESTT counts his money.)

PESTT: With all this cabbage, I could make cole slaw.

ROGUE: (off-stage voice over) Count your blood money slowly, Indian agent.

PESTT: (startled) Oh my land! What was that? 

ROGUE: Percival P. Pestt!

PESTT: Who…who…who’s there?

ROGUE: It’s not Western Union!

PESTT: What do you want with me?

Inspiration for THE ROGUE. Duh.

(THE ROGUE appears from the opposite direction PESTT is speaking toward. He is masked and is dressed all in black with gold trim.)

ROGUE: Justice!

PESTT: Oh my stars and garters! Who in the blue blazes are you?

ROGUE: I am The Rogue. 

PESTT: P....p…pleased to meet you. My name is…oh, you know that already. (pulls gun) Aha! I have you now! D…d...don’t move or I’ll sh…sh…sh…

ROGUE: Shoot?

PESTT: Yes!

ROGUE: I was hoping that’s what you meant.

PESTT: I mean it! I’ll fill you full of l...l...lead! (THE ROGUE spins his finger about as the pistol turns in PESTT’s hand with the barrel facing toward him now) What was I saying?

ROGUE: Don’t move or you’ll shoot.

PESTT: It’s just a figure of speech!

ROGUE: Hand that pistol to me before you hurt someone.

PESTT: Like me! (hands pistol to ROGUE) How...how may I help you, Mr…?

ROGUE: As I said, I am The Rogue and I demand answers. Where is the man known as Randolph Hitlear?

PESTT: I think he’s on vacation. That’s it. He went to the seashore.

ROGUE: I demand the truth!

PESTT: Don’t hurt me! I’m allergic to pain! I’ll tell you! He’s in the mountain up ahead. He said he was breaking through to the Tomb of Gold tonight.

ROGUE: That is more like it. What I want you to do now is to walk all the way back into town  and lock yourself in a jail cell for all your deceitful crimes of lies and bribery. You will stay until you are told otherwise. Do you understand?

PESTT: Loud and clear!

ROGUE: Double-cross me and you will suffer the wrath of The Rogue! I’m off! (exits) Ride the wind, Avenger! (horse whinnies and gallops off)

PESTT: Gone? Good! I’m getting the hey out of here. (turns to run off in opposite direction)

ROGUE: (reappearing before him) Going someplace?

PESTT: (jumping) Arghh! Just taking a short cut…Oh my kidneys…(exits opposite as ROGUE disappears)

LEGEND OF THE ROGUE by Scott Cherney is filled with laughs, romance and more fun than a barrel full of lizards on a tequila bender. Performance rights are available. For more information and to obtain a digital copy of script contact: OFF THE WALL PLAYS

La Rue-Here, There and Everywhere

Here are but a few of the fine theater companies over the years  that have produced LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, the Cajun-spiced comedy melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself.

Let's start here with the most recent production.

Graham Regional Theatre in Graham, Texas

A charity DVD produced by Actors Studio in Baker City, OR

Reader's Theater presentation presented by Mt. Vernon Community Theatre in Mt. Vernon, MO

Co-author, best friend and proud papa Ed Thorpe outside The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, CA

And where it all started, many moons before this second production at the late, lamented Palace Showboat Dinner Theatre at Pollardville in Stockton, CA. (Please ignore the crappy Pepto Bismol colored program.)

For more info about this show, please read the previous blog post; 

LA RUE'S RETURN

or contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com

Roxanne of the Islands

 

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, kids of all ages...

It is with a great deal of pride and pleasure that introduce to the world, the latest love of my life.
Her name...

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS

Roxanne is the lead character in what I am calling a tropical adventure comedy melodrama, a mouthful to be sure while the full title of which is:

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS
or
THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG

This piece of pure Cherney-ana has been published by Off the Wall Plays, the first of all my works not published by yours truly, a major moment in the life of me.

The story of this epic revolves around the brave and beautiful Roxanne on her home of Ooaheek Island in the South Pacific after World War II. Not only must she contend with a lovesick witch doctor named Zhivago and a 1000 year old goddess with daddy issues who's after her ship-wrecked sea captain boyfriend but also a volcano that just won't give a poor girl a break.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

ROXANNE-the brave, beautiful heroine of Ooaheek Island

CAPT. JEFF COOPER-the young man of the sea and skipper of the good ship Oh You Squid

WITCH DOCTOR ZHIVAGO-an evil little weasel on two legs

BARBARINA-the voluptuously seductive high priestess with a mean streak a mile long

SVEN BJORN BJORG GUNTHER-Jeff’s Swedish first mate

FRED-Roxanne’s none-too-bright but oh-so-big-hearted sister

UNCLE ALPO-Roxanne’s lazy, good-for-something uncle

YOYO-Zhivago’s henchman…uh, native

TIME: Late 1940s, post-World War II

SETTING: In and around Ooaheek Island in the South Pacific 

ROXANNE is based on a sub-genre of films from the late thirties-early forties set in far off islands in the South Seas, the more exotic, the better and accuracy be damned. Titles ranged from John Ford's THE HURRICANE to what became the norm, B-programmers like ALOMA OF THE SOUTH SEAS.

Both of these movies had another thing in common besides their theme and locale. They starred the enchanting and drop dead gorgeous Dorothy Lamour. Known mostly today as the foil of Hope and Crosby ROAD pictures, Lamour had quite a career prior to meeting the boys beginning as a big band singer in the 1930s. After moving to Hollywood, it wasn't long before she donned her first sarong in THE JUNGLE PRINCESS, which was such a hit for Paramount at the time, it type-cast from there on in. Dotty was major pin-up girl during WWII and sold so many war bonds she was nicknamed The Bombshell of Bombs. I wanted to write a melodrama with a strong heroine, deviating from the damsel in distress normally seen in this type of show and one not dependent on being rescued by the handsome hero. Dorothy Lamour fit the bill for me.

I drew a lot of inspiration, as I always do with my melos, from the cartoons of Jay Ward Productions, most famously the creators of Rocky and Bullwinkle, among others along with my own personal fave, GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE. Much of my humor stems from this deep well of brilliant absurdity. My penchant for titles and sub-titles is straight out of a Rocky and Bullwinkle cliffhanger, many times my favorite part of an episode. ROXANNE itself is chock full o' references from the villain's name (Witch Doctor Zhivago) to Roxanne's sister, Fred  ("Papa wanted a boy." "Close, but no cigar.") and the setting, Ooaheek Island, which is the sound a bird makes when it flies to close to the volcano.

What really fueled my muse was when I decided to add a couple of musical numbers including a swing dance number to open ACT II. I couldn't think of a better tune in the world than Benny Goodman's Big Band classic interpretation of Louis Prima's "Sing Sing Sing" with the incomparable Gene Krupa on the drums. I listened to this constantly and found that it really drove the project home.

So there you have it, kitty cats. That's the origin of ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS. Take a bow, sister. May the world fall in love with you as much as I have.

To read an elongated excerpt or to buy a copy (hint! hint!) go to OFF THE WALL PLAYS . Performance rights are available from Off the Wall. Tell 'em Fred sent you.