Break Out the Boot!

There is a tradition I created for myself to commemorate the opening night of my shows. I'm grateful that anyone would produce my work and I never want to take it for granted. Therefore, i feel a celebratory toast is order since I am unable to attend the shows in question.

This began ten years ago when my step-daughter Tracey visited the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville Theater in Oceano, California with my granddaughter Kardena to catch a performance of my play SONG OF THE CANYON KID or POEM ON THE RANGE. While there, she purchased one of these here souvenir mugs emblazoned the theater's logo for me. The fact that she went at all touched me to the core, but now I have something tangible to mark that occasion.

From that point on, I have filled this mug with a frothy beverage of choice, a carefully selected special brew, on the opening night of my play wherever it may be, hoist it high in the air in salute to the theater group that has generously agreed to share my stuff with the world one performance at a time.

I proudly, humbly and enthusiastically look forward to each and every opening. Then I shall give the call to arms as I have every show for the past decade:

BREAK OUT THE BOOT!

Where No Murder Has Gone Before

Each performance SOLD OUT!

The Star Truck Innerthighs flies again!

This past week I discovered that my interactive murder mystery comedy MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER had been produced in April of this year by CAST Plays of Douglasville, Georgia. Naturally, any theater group doing my show is a cause for celebration. However, since I am used to marketing my work all by lonesome self, I usually get the heads up before it goes on the boards. Since this particular play, as well as two others-ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS and LEGEND OF THE ROGUE, have been published as well handling the licensing of said scripts by Off the Wall Plays, I don't get to learn of their productions until after the fact.

Das Boot

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It just sets me a little off-balance since there is a tradition that I'd still like to maintain after starting it 9 years ago. It began when my step-daughter Tracey attended a performance my show SONG OF THE CANYON KID at the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville Theatre in Oceano, California. She bought me a souvenir glass mug in the shape of a boot to commemorate the event. Since then, I fill that same glass boot with a frothy beverage of my choice (take a wild guess what kind) on the opening night of one of my plays and toast whichever theater company has staged that particular show. 

CAST Cast of Murder-The Final Frontier

Well, this past Saturday night, I broke out the boot again and hoisted it in the air once again to salute CAST Plays, albeit posthumously. Three months later, in fact, but la-de-dah. Another successful mission for the crew of the Star Truck Innerthighs!

Capt. Imaginacon to the rescue!

The posts on CAST Plays Facebook page were filled with lotsa production pics which are scattered about here as well as some really sweet comments about my show, calling it "perhaps the most absurdly funny show I've been involved with in my decades with CAST." Not only that, but apparently each and every performance was sold out. Yowza!

Once again, I am sending my thanks all the way to Douglasville, Georgia and the cast and crew of MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER. That's another notch on my phaser.

Wilson Chadwick AKA Captain Kork

MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER is available from OFF THE WALL PLAYS. Please visit them for a free script preview as well as information of production rights. 

 

Also available form OFF THE WALL:

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS or THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG 

and LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS

A Lil' Bit of La Rue

For your edification, here is an excerpt from LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU? a melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself that has played in various theaters across the US of A

LA RUE'S RETURN tells the tale of a rotten to the core French criminal who returns to New Oreleans' French Quarter to exact revenge against a sweet Southern belle who sent his sorry self to prison. Standing in the villain's path are a brave, yet rather dim-witted US Cavalry officer, the loyal friends of the belle and a wacked witch from the swamp.

In this scene, Ike the bartender, Mimi the maid and Lazlo the layabout prepare for Jacques La Rue's imminent return to the Chez What bistro. When he does, he impersonates the bartender in order to fool Lt. Alan Wexstad which isn't hard to do.



Original cast of LA RUE'S RETURN-Palace Showboat Theater at Pollardville


MIMI: You don’t think he would come back, do you?
IKE: He might.
MIMI: No!
IKE/LAZLO: Yes!
IKE: Just to be on the safe side, we’d better lock up everything of value. He’ll take every red cent. (To LAZLO) Speakin’ of scents, why don’t you take bath?
LAZLO: What-and spoil my earthy charm?
IKE: (Grabbing cash register) C’mon, Mimi.
MIMI: Oui, oui.
IKE: Yeah, you can do that on the way.
IKE and MIMI EXIT through kitchen door.
LAZLO: Now for some serious drinking! (Grabs bottle from behind bar and raises it to his lips as IKE ENTERS, grabs bottle, and re-EXITS) Rats! (Grabs spittoon) Nah!
LAZLO then grabs the bar rag, wrings it out in a glass, and prepares to drink it. JACQUES LA RUE peers over the saloon doors and watches LAZLO.
LA RUE: Hey! (LAZLO spills drink) Hey! Free whisky at the stable!
LAZLO: Free whisky? Where’d I hide my bucket? (EXITS out saloon doors)
LA RUE: (ENTERS) Works every time. Oh, Jacques La Rue, you are such a nasty guy. (Sings to the tune of “I Got Rhythm”)
“I’m so nasty’
I’m so nasty
I’m so nasty
Who could ask for anysing more?” (Laughs)
What a showstopper! Well, Lafayette, I am here! (Looks about) How lovely it is to be back in this dump... (Looks out window) …That still overlooks the dump. It is to gag. (Gags and pours himself a drink at bar) I see that Polly still has our favorite, Chartrise ’72. Come to papa. (Drinks) Vinegar! I have just drunk the vinegar! Patooie! Not bad… (Spots portrait of COL. MORTIMER) So, I see Polly still has you on the wall, you bumbling old fool. Maybe if you had been here before, I would not have been able to nearly take your daughter for all that she had. Some day Colonel Mortimer, you and I shall meet on the field of battle and you will see what Jacques La Rue is made out of. Someday, Colonel, someday, but you are not important right now because I have returned to settle my old score with that stool pigeon, Ack! (LA RUE’s pronunciation of IKE, rhymes with back) And I shall take my revenge, served up etouffe’, ce vous plait! (Drinks another glass of bad wine, then looks for some place to spit it out behind bar)

Proud playwright Edward Thorpe in Oceano, CA

LT. ALAN WEXSTAD opens saloon door with right hand.
ALAN: Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes, freeing door to swing back and knock him back)
LA RUE: (Aside) Ack can wait. This may be good.
ALAN: (Re-enters, sidestepping door quickly) Greeting and salutations, Sir. (Salutes again)
LA RUE: I am sorry. The cub scouts are not meeting here tonight.
ALAN: Is this not the establishment of Polly Montclair, daughter of the late Colonel Montclair?
LA RUE: (Aside) The late colonel, Hmmm… (To ALAN) The late colonel’s daughter is not here at the present time
ALAN: Oh, gosh darn it all to heck. Oh, pardon my French.
LA RUE: That was French?
ALAN: Forgive me. You see, I have travelled a very long way. And you are…?
LA RUE: Ah, Miss Polly has left me in charge. My name is…Ack.
ALAN: (Confused) Ack?
LA RUE: Not Ack. A-a-a-ck.
ALAN: A-a-ack?
LA RUE: (Impatiently) Ack! Ack! Ack!
ALAN: That’s a nasty cough you have there.
LA RUE: No, no. You misunderstand me. My name is… (Points to eye) …ck!
ALAN: Oh! Ike! My name is Lieutenant Alan Wexstad of the United States Cavalry, at your service! (Comes to attention and salutes)
LA RUE: At ease. Tell me, what business do you have with the mademoiselle?
ALAN: It concerns… (Peers about to see if anyone is listening then whispers) …money.
LA RUE: (Loudly) Money!
ALAN: Yes. I carry with me the entire estate of the late Colonel Montclair. (Taps pouch on his side, attached to his belt)
LA RUE: It grieves me to hear that the colonel has passed on. Tell me, how did he meet with his demise?
ALAN: It’s rather an unusual story, I’m afraid. Colonel Montclair was sent as a sole emissary of the United States Government to a remote outpost in the Indian nations. He befriended a peaceful tribe and ingratiated himself into their society. So, he became an honorary member of the tribe. In order to be as one with the Indians who adopted him, he tried to become one with nature. In doing so, Colonel Montclair tried to dance with the wolves.
LA RUE: What happened?
ALAN: The wolves discovered he had no rhythm, so they ate him like so much dog food. There wasn’t anything left of him except for some badly chewed medals and this rather sticky picture frame. (Produces small picture frame)
LA RUE: It is a picture of Miss Polly.
ALAN: Yes. Her father carried with him until the very end. I have been ordered to take this, along with the colonel’s financial holdings, to Miss Polly…I mean, Miss Montclair.
LA RUE: Oui, now about the money…? 

Elaine Slatore as Polly Montclair

ALAN: (Gazing at picture) Just look at that face. Ever since I was sent on this mission, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of her. I have found myself hypnotized, transfixed, transmogrified, if you will. She has the face of an angel, don’t you think?
LA RUE: Oui. All she needs is the harp. Now about the money…
ALAN: Travelling over hill and down dale, all I could do was look at her and daydream… wonder what her voice would sound like. Would it be like a heavenly choir from on high or more like the tinkle of fine champagne in a crystal goblet?

LA RUE: (Aside) Time for the tinkle if this goes on any longer. (To ALAN) Now, about the mon…
ALAN: Gazing upon the beauteous countenance of Miss Montclair…Polly…made me burst out into song. I sang the entire journey to New Orleans. Would you like to hear?
LA RUE: Non!
ALAN: All right, I will. (Sings “Polly Wolly Doodle”)
LA RUE: A charming little ditty, Lieutenant. (Aside) I am going to heave!
ALAN: Of course, you will have the decency to keep this between the two of us.
LA RUE: Decency is my middle name.
ALAN: Really? How odd.
LA RUE: Now, for the last time, you mentioned…money?
ALAN: Yes. The late colonel left a large sum of money in the care of my commanding officer, General Horatio Barnswallow, who in turn charged me with the duty and responsibility to deliver this sum, in total, to Miss Polly…er, Miss Montclair, a sum equal to twenty two thousand dollars.
LA RUE: That is some sum!
ALAN: Not only that, but there is also a deed to one thousand acres of land in Fresno, California. (NOTE: “Fresno, California” can be changed to any maligned city in or near the area of performance)
LA RUE: Fresno? (Aside) She is better off with the money. (To ALAN) Do not worry, young man. All of that will be safe with me.
ALAN: I cannot, sir!
LA RUE: But why not? Do I not have an honest face?
ALAN: I do not doubt your honesty, sir. It is just my duty as an officer in the United States Cavalry to safeguard any trust put in me, to always strive for truth…justice…and the American way!
LA RUE: Don’t get carried away, Superboy!
ALAN: Sorry. Nonetheless, this case carrying Miss Montclair’s inheritance shall not leave my side until I can deliver it to her personally. When will she return?
LA RUE: Oh, not for a very long time. Lieutenant, I implore you, trust me.
ALAN: But I cannot. I must not. I shall not. I won’t! Now I must take my leave and seek appropriate lodging for the night. Please inform Miss Montclair of my visit. Good day, Ack. (EXITS)
LA RUE: That’s Ack! Impudent clod! So, twenty two thousand dollars, eh? And a thousand acres of land in Fresno. Well, I can always sell it. I must think… must plan…must devise a scheme…must speak in full sentences. I must have that money! It will be mine, all mine! Oh, Jacques, what a greedy guy you are. (EXITS laughing)

​Copyright 2004 by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney


Performance rights for LA RUE'S RETURN are $40 per performance with all script fees waived to allow theaters to copy as many as they require from a PDF after a written contract

To receive a FREE PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Scott Cherney at: writtenbysc@gmail.com


Hard copies of LA RUE'S RETURN are also available at https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/scottcherney

The Canyon Kid Rides!

SONG OF THE CANYON KID (formerly known as SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE) or POEM ON

THE RANGE remains the best melodrama script I ever wrote. It represented the culmination of everything I had learned up to that point at Pollardville, the place I had considered my "college". You see, I got to do everything I ever wanted to do in show business at the place we called the Ville-acting, writing, directing, producing, stand-up, singing, dancing, improvisation and so on and so forth. This included my apprenticeship as a stunt cowboy performer in Pollardville Ghost Town all the way to my post-graduate studies as the writer/director/master of ceremonies on the Palace stage. It was the best time of my life and this show was pretty much my grand finale.

It began as a possible running character in the Ghost Town, though it never got out of the idea stage out there. The character of Two Gun Boris, however, did end up in one of the gunfights, since it was written specifically for Grant-Lee Phillips who was working there at the time. But I knew that The Canyon Kid needed to be the hero of a melodrama and so it began. Previously, I had co-written LARUE'S RETURN with my best friend Edward (Max) Thorpe and had flied solo with THE LEGEND OF THE ROGUE which Bill Humphreys had admirably interpreted on the Ville stage. Ed had concocted the initial story for LA RUE before our collaboration while the script for LEGEND actually only took me a week . But SONG took a few years to put together. I had an idea here and an idea there, but nothing came together.

Then I hit on the idea of the albino hanging judge as a villain, probably inspired by Stacy Keach's character Bad Bob from John Huston's LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN written by John Milius. (Yes, I just mashed Bad Bob and Judge Roy Bean together and came up with an albino hanging judge. I always was the clever boy) Some of the early drafts involved a lot more about Judge Basil Kadaver that, unfortunately, got lost in a fire. There had been a great scene involving the judge as a baby, throwing a hangman's noose over the side of his bassinet. I never could recover those bits nor could I muster up the inspiration to recreate them, unfortunately. The other characters that popped out of my head-Charlene Atlas, the female blacksmith and Two Gun Boris' hot as balls gypsy fortune teller sister, Nastassia Kinky, more than made up for it.

I had a brilliant idea of an ending for SONG-a fight scene to beat all fight scenes, one that would involve every member of the cast and from everywhere in the theater-on stage, off stage, in the audience and so on. And so it was. The Canyon Kid fought Dalton Doolin. The Mayor had it out with the Judge. Darla and her mother took on Nastassia. And finally, Charlene punched it out with Boris. They all duked it out in the name of entertainment. It was my version of the BLAZING SADDLES fight and put this show over the top.

SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE opened November 6, 1987 and ran until May of 1988. What a great run and, if I say so myself, a great show as well. In 2013, I wrote a novelization of this script, re-naming it SONG OF THE CANYON KID at the same time the show was produced by the Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville Theater in Oceano, California. Since then, it has played across the country in theaters coast to coast.

REVIEW OF SONG OF THE CANYON KID NOVEL

Performing rights for SONG OF THE CANYON KID are available for both professional and amateur theater companies. Royalties are $40 per performance with no script fees. To obtain a FREE perusal script, contact me, Scott Cherney at writtenbysc@gmail.com

AND

THE SONG OF THE CANYON KID-The Novel
A Western Comedy Romance
NOW ON SALE IN PAPERBACK
and on
AMAZON KINDLE

La Rue-Here, There and Everywhere

Here are but a few of the fine theater companies over the years  that have produced LA RUE'S RETURN or HOW'S A BAYOU?, the Cajun-spiced comedy melodrama written by Edward Thorpe and myself.

Let's start here with the most recent production.

Graham Regional Theatre in Graham, Texas

A charity DVD produced by Actors Studio in Baker City, OR

Reader's Theater presentation presented by Mt. Vernon Community Theatre in Mt. Vernon, MO

Co-author, best friend and proud papa Ed Thorpe outside The Great American Melodrama and Vaudeville in Oceano, CA

And where it all started, many moons before this second production at the late, lamented Palace Showboat Dinner Theatre at Pollardville in Stockton, CA. (Please ignore the crappy Pepto Bismol colored program.)

For more info about this show, please read the previous blog post; 

LA RUE'S RETURN

or contact me at: writtenbysc@gmail.com