Dewey and the Diva

It's been far too long since MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER has hit the boards, so how about I pique your interest with another excerpt from this interactive murder mystery of mine? 

Set at a sci-fi convention called Imaginacon, a tribute to the classic TV show STAR TRUCK is underway with members of the cast including LEON PORTNOY, the actor who is forever known as First Officer Mr. Spark, JEAN RODDENREEL, widow of the show's creator Dean Roddenreel and of course Captain James Tyrannosaurus Kork himself, the inimitable WILSON CHADWICK. Also appearing at the convention is the star of STAR BOARS, CARRIE FISHWICH and someone who may or may not be an alien. Convention organizer and master of ceremonies DEWEY OSGOOD inspired by actor/author/stand up comic/Nerd extraordinaire Patton Oswalt runs the show.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry

In this scene JEAN RODDENREEL makes her grand entrance to Imaginacon like the grand diva she believes she is and is greeted by the about to be long-suffering DEWEY OSGOOD.

From opposite, JEAN RODDENREEL enters flamboyantly like a movie star from another era, totally out of place in this century dressed in a coat that would make the entire membership of PETA faint on sight. 

JEAN: Pardon me, you with the cape. 

DEWEY: Yes, ma’am, may I help you? Whoa! By the Mystical Moons of Mongo! It’s you! Jean Roddenreel! It is a pleasure to meet you! 

JEAN: Please. No autographs. Besides, it would cost you. 

DEWEY: I…wasn’t asking for one. How do you do? I’m Dewey Osgood. Sorry you didn’t recognize me in my costume. 

JEAN: I wouldn’t recognize you in a tuxedo. Who are you supposed to be, young man? 

DEWEY: Dewey Osgood? The organizer of this event? 

JEAN: Doesn’t ring a bell, but I’ll take your word for it. I believe you’re the gentleman I’m supposed to

meet, am I correct? 

DEWEY: Yes. And I would know you anywhere. The great Jean Roddenreel in my presence . If you don’t mind me saying so, you look as young and smoking hot as you did as Nurse Church on STAR TRUCK. 

JEAN: Yes, you may say that. (beat) Well, go ahead. 

 DEWEY: You look as young and smoking hot as you did as Nurse Church on STAR TRUCK. 

JEAN: Oh, you’re just saying that. Thank you, Oswald. 

DEWEY: Osgood. 

JEAN: It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that all my needs are have been taken care of during this little soiree of yours. 

DEWEY: Everything you wished has been my command. 

JEAN: So you say, Durwood. 

 DEWEY: No, it’s Osgood. Dewey Osgood. 

JEAN: It still doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the penthouse suite I requested is ready to be occupied. 

 DEWEY: As I mentioned to your assistant, I have reserved the second largest suite in the entire facility just for you. 

 JEAN: Second largest? I am second to no one, young man! Who could possibly have the penthouse suite? 

 DEWEY: That would be Mr. Chadwick, ma’am. 

JEAN: Wilson Chadwick has my room? How dare you! 

DEWEY: I apologize, Mrs. Roddenreel, but one of the major stipulations of his contract was that he has dibs the penthouse. He does in fact own this hotel. 

JEAN: He what? 

DEWEY: Yes, he purchased it just last year. I’m surprised you didn’t know that. 

JEAN: If I knew that, I never would have agreed to attend this flea circus of yours. May I remind you of who my late husband was, Doogie? 

DEWEY: No, it’s Dewey… 

The main man himself-Gene Roddenberry

JEAN: It doesn’t matter! What does matter is that my husband was Dean Roddenreel, creator, producer and visionary behind STAR TRUCK. He is the only one who matters! Without him, none of this would exist. This room would be empty and you would be at the Piggily Wiggly asking someone if they wanted paper or plastic! Since my husband’s untimely demise, I alone carry the torch of STAR TRUCK in his good name. No one, I repeat, no one, shall take precedence over me. Do I make myself crystal clear? 

DEWEY: Mrs. Roddenreel…Jean…I have nothing but respect for you, for your husband and certainly for STAR TRUCK itself. That’s what this all about. But this is Wilson Chadwick’s first appearance at any convention…ever. Naturally, he’ll be the one everyone will want to see… 

JEAN: How dare you! 

DEWEY: I didn’t mean it like that. Of course everyone wants to see you. You’re Mrs. STAR TRUCK! You are royalty. And of course there’s Mr. Spark himself, Leon Portnoy who I certainly hope arrives here soon. (walkie talkie squawks, talks into it) Stevie?...Fine, Dungeonmaster, what is it?...He is! Good job. Go treat yourself to some more onion rings. (to JEAN) Leon Portnoy is in the house. 

JEAN: Yes, I know. He drove me here. 

DEWEY: Really? You two car pooled? That is so cool. 

JEAN: If you say so. (Walkie talkie squawks again.) 

DEWEY: Excuse me. (into walkie talkie)Go ahead, Dungeon…wait? What? Stevie, calm down! …Okay. I’ll be right there. (to JEAN) I have to leave. Apparently there’s a catfight at the Hello Kitty booth. I’ll be back in a flash! 

MUSIC CUE: (from the Flash Gordon theme song by Queen) FLASH… AHH-AHH! 

DEWEY: That was weird. (exits) 

Copyright © April 2020 Scott Cherney and Off The Wall Play Publishers 

MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER has been performed with great success from one end of the US of A to the other and are perfect for both professional and amateur theater groups.

PREVIOUS PRODUCTIONS

Mel O' Drama Theater Nashville, TN

SLV Theatre Co. San Luis Valley, CO (TWICE!)

Brickstreet Players Clovis, NM

Sugar High Theatricals Galesburg, IL

Rio Linda Elverta Community Theater Rio Linda, CA

Sanzman Productions Los Angeles, CA

CAST Plays Douglasville, GA

 

MURDER-THE FINAL FRONTIER performance rights are available from OFF THE WALL PLAYS. 

Also available form OFF THE WALL:

ROXANNE OF THE ISLANDS or THEY'RE PLAYING OUR SARONG 

and LEGEND OF THE ROGUE or MASK ME NO QUESTIONS

For more information about anything o' mine, go to my website:

WRITTEN BY SCOTT CHERNEY

or drop me a line at writtenbysc@gmail.com

The Wrath of Comic-Con

The following revolves around the creation of an interactive murder mystery that has since been re-named MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER.

                Space...the very last place...these are the voyages of the Star Truck...Innerthighs...

So begins the latest interactive murder mystery comedy written by someone who needs no introduction, but is near and dear to all of your hearts...and if he isn't, he soon will be because...that's the kind of guy he is.

It's me, damn your eyes! Yes, I'm at it again or at least I was a few months ago when I first wrote this here piece o' work that is debuting this month for Mel O'Drama Theatre in the one and only Nashville, TN. (Even though this is my second time in Music City, it's so mind-blowing that something I wrote is playing in that iconic city)

The show in question is indeed STAR TRUCK; THE WRATH OF COMIC-CON. Set at a sci-fi convention called Imaginacon, a tribute to the classic TV show STAR TRUCK is underway with members of the cast including Leon Portnoy, the actor who is forever known as First Officer Mr. Spark, Jean Roddenreel, widow of the show's creator Dean Roddenreel and of course Captain James Tyrannosaurus Kork himself, the inimitable Wilson Chadwick. Also appearing at the convention is the star of STAR BOARS, Carrie Fishwich and someone who may or may not be an alien.

As you can tell unless you're not paying attention, this is all fodder for jabs at STAR TREK, STAR WARS

and basically all things in the geek universe which, in this day and age, pretty much everything. Of course. I include myself in these ranks, having been a geek since the day I first crawled the earth back...well, none of your damn business.. It is also a gold mine of comedic opportunities that I take as full advantage of as I possibly could given the parameters of the murder mystery format. There are digs are the aforementioned STAR shows as well as DOCTOR WHO, THE WALKING DEAD, LORD OF THE RINGS and so on and so forth. Plus I have concocted some of the very best (or worst) puns I have possibly ever concocted. If you think punning is lowest form of wit, well, you're half right. Which half, I don't know.

The inspiration for STAR TRUCK derives from the underrated classic GALAXY QUEST (1999), which brilliantly mined some of the same tropes, Mad Magazine's classic parody STAR BLECCH (love that title) and, of course, the SNL "Get A Life!" sketch starring William Shatner. The latter is undoubtedly the Genesis Project for the whole enterprise (wow, two references for the price of one!) Not only does it set up what I wanted to accomplish with this script, but it was also a turning point for Shatner himself. This was when he reinvented himself, understanding that he knew he was the butt of many a joke and now he was in on it too. He could make fun of himself and do it better. Oh yeah, he was Captain Kirk but now he became in full caps WILLIAM SHATNER and he never left. Therefore the victim of my murder mystery just had to be the William Shatner character. It was like MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS. Who killed Richard Widmark? Everybody! That's the spirit I wanted to convey. Who wants to kill Wislon Chadwick? Everybody! Hopefully, not the audience too.

The icing on this cupcake was that when I wrote in Shatner's voice, in his cadence and his goofy sensibilities, I had as much fun as I ever had creating a character. I love this guy and sure hope that it shows. I had some struggles concerning the passing of Leonard Nimoy that I wrote about earlier this year. (See blog post:  HIGHLY ILLOGICAL) Some of the other characters proved a bit more difficult to put together, but fortunately not Dewey Osgood, the host of Imaginacon who turns out to be the hero of the piece. I based Dewey on comedian Patton Oswalt, a kindred spirit and King of All Geeks. Patton's recent book SILVER SCREEN FIEND is a fantastic movie memoir, not unlike my own IN THE DARK but light years beyond in both style and substance. Carrie Fisher who has had a long gestating and ridiculous feud with William Shatner is obviously the model for Carrie Fishwich. Majel Barrett is Gene Roddenberry's widow, but I based her character on the role she played as Deanna Troi's mother on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. And I paid homage to Portland home-girl Katee Sackhoff's BATTLESTAR GALLACTICA Starbuck persona for Nirvana Nightengale.

The original cast of Mel O' Drama Theater's production of STAR TRUCK

Thanks to producer Melanie Roady of Mel O'Drama Theater for giving me another shot after last year's PERILS OF FRANCOIS. Recently Mel accepted the position of Executive Producer of the theater at Events on 3rd in Nashville. Good on her.  And a big shout-out to director Andy Johnson who played Pierre Perrier in FRANCOIS and another fellow geek, a perfect fit for this show. Finally to a cast that I'll not only never meet but never see perform my work in front of a (hopefully) live audience, I can only say in the grand tradition of theater...break a leg.

For myself, I'll hoist a toast on opening night from across the country. Here's to another original script under my belt. This is also the fourth production of one of my plays this year, one more than 2014. I would have had five, but the theater that had scheduled the show met with some very hard times, a result of the recent flooding in South Carolina. I wish them and everyone back there the very best.

It's been two years since I was first contacted by the Great American Melodrama to have one of my scripts performed which has led to this sudden resurgence as a playwright. It appears that the third act of my life I've been searching for is one that I'm writing myself. Imagine that.

So beam me up, Scotty. Oh, wait. That's me.


MURDER: THE FINAL FRONTIER IS NOW AVAILABLE AT OFF THE WALL PLAYS

Performance rights are available!

For info about my other scripts or even if you just want to send me a mash note (look it up, young 'un),
please e-mail me at: writenbysc@gmail.com